remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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