i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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