And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
