the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
