Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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