I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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