Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
