he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
