This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I want a musical about memes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize