Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
