As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
