pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
