I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
