Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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