end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
