she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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