dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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