They should really pass out barf bags in church
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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