How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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