we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
