Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
