Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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