I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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