Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
