It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
