But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
