Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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