somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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