If i come over, it means nothing
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
P.S. I can't hear my feet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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