I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
