He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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