look no pants
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
