at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
