i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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