im six kinds of drunk right now
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Please don't give away my fajitas
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize