my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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