everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
