Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
