Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
