oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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