Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
