So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize