Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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