its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize