Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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