Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
