i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we're so committed to being not committed
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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