We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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