This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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