Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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