actually, I'm a sock model
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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