I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
