so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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