at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am available for nakedness
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
