you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize