TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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