I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
