it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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