I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
