he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
