TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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