Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
