so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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