Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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