She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
