it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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