Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
