He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We have started to decorate penises.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
